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Drs. Moser and Zebrowski talk about the “shoulds” in our lives in Princeton Magazine.

From the time we learn to walk and talk, we are socialized to learn what we should and should not do. “You should always share your toys”… “You should never touch the stove”… “You should never talk to strangers.” The first “shoulds” we learn are meant to protect us and guide us, because as children we are not yet ready to make independent decisions and we are still learning about the world. Those early shoulds become internalized, ingrained, automatic recordings in our brains. This repository of shoulds creates the mini-adult who accompanies us when parents are not there to provide oversight. Our mini-adult helps keep us safe as we navigate childhood. Eventually, as we transition into adulth

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